Longing

Kailyn and I finally got to talk to Rob today for a few min. It made me miss him even more, but at the same time, I got comfort in being able to hear his voice. Kailyn told him about her day and that she loves him. He didn't have a long time to talk only about 5-10 min. 

He is doing fine except he hasn't gotten any sleep for the last two days. They were supposed to be ready to go somewhere else and then it didn't happen. I can't go into details for security purposes, so this is all I can say.

I am getting better with the sleeping thing, but the bed still feels empty without him. I want my husband here to hug me and hold me like he does every day, and of course I want the sensual part of that too if you can catch my drift :P. I can't wait until he is back in my arms and me in his. I need his strength.


On a different topic, today was my first day to do the shopping by myself and that was an experience, because I am the type of shopper that if I see it and want, I usually just grab it and put it in the cart. Well, I couldn't do that today, so I had a list and pretty much got everything on it without deviating from it one bit. There were a few things that I didn't get because of price, but they weren't food items so it's ok, I can get them on the next go around. I think the most expensive thing I got was the dog food, everything else was under 5 dollars or just over it. I am very proud of myself for this accomplishment, as trivial as it may be. Well off to go and take care of my sweet daughter and make sure she is ok.

How hard is it to be a military spouse?

Well, let me tell you. Right now, my husband, Rob is deployed and will be for the next year. This is his first deployment so you can guess that this is mine as well. Granted it's only been a week, but I hate not being able to see him everyday, talk to him in person or even have a daily conversation with him. Sucks, not having him in bed with me or even in the house. I feel alone and scared now that he is gone.

Yes I have friends here who come to check on me and ask how I am doing, and I tell them I am fine, but really I am not. It's just a front for my daughter. I have to be strong for her and not cry in front of her otherwise she will cry making it harder for me to stop. Kailyn is only five and knows that daddy has to go away for the Army and that it's for a very long time, but I don't think she knows how long that time is. I am gonna try to keep her as busy as I can to keep her mind off of things, but if she is anything like me, she is gonna have her moments and just start crying out of no where and realize that daddy is gone and not coming home at the end of the day.

This is just a tip on how hard it is being a military spouse, especially one with young children. I will continue more later, as I can not write anymore from my crying keeping me from seeing the screen.